Where ever should I begin?
Headlong into darkness
My journey into and out of domestic violence started long
before I ever met john. I called myself a survivor of childhood abuse; but in truth I wasn't surviving, I was self destructing.
I had been homeless for about two years when we met, spending my time in an area of town famous for its eclectic mixture of
people, rich and poor, addict and dealer, and everything in between. The area attracts alot of homeless because its not an
actual park where the police make you leave at a certain time, you can literally sit your life away there. I liken it to going
to a party you dont have to be invited to. I wasn't into drugs or alchohol, I simply couldnt function, how to build and hold
onto a normal life just escaped me, I was pretty irresponsible and very impulsive, and it was usually one man or another that
drove my impulses. I had actually first become homeless when I moved to another state with a man I barely knew,
ofcourse that was doomed to fail and when I decided to run back home I had no home to run to, after some time it became
easy, easy to have no ties, no commitments, easy to give up.
John was no different than any other nare'-
do- well I'd previously wasted time on;but I wasn't particularly interested in him, there was something just a little darker,
a little more dangerous about him. We'd see each other around town and he was always nice enough but he drank heavily,that
nasty cheap wine the winos' drink. just the thought of smelling that stuff on a daily basis kept me from entertaining any
romantic possibilities with him.
I had just returned from yet another misadventure
in maryland when I saw him in the crowd, truthfully he was always one of my favorite people to see milling about, he could
be deliriously funny. I was feeling down about coming back and I knew i could get a few good laughs from his antics, he was
quite drunk and in full force. As I sat watching him put on a show, a big yukky bottle of wild irish rose hanging loosely
from his hand, something in me clicked, for whatever reason I decided I had to have him, I had no clue that his drinking was
only the tip of the iceberg. As we walked away together that fateful day I never imagined I would come close to losing my
life to this man, nor could I have known this particular entanglement would change everything.
To be continued.....
are you a victim of domestic violence? Don't know where to turn for help, see the resource page for links.
Get the tissue and the popcorn...ready?
Well I dont own a digital camera so youll have to use your imagination
One fine day when im not so strapped for cash ill be able to buy a camera and add pictures